Red flags in relationships
This list was excerpted from a “Dear Abby” column. We have found it to contain useful indicators that someone may not be “good relationship material”.
If your parents or siblings have doubts about him/her, pay attention. Listen and check it out.
If your intended has nothing good to say about his/her ex, beware. This is a pattern; divorce or break ups are rarely one person’s fault.
If his/her children have nothing to do with him/her; do not believe it if the reason is that his/her ex brainwashed the children.
Look closely at his/her credit and job history. They are certain predictors of what your life will be like.
If s/he is over 30 and has no money, do not let him/her move in with you, and don’t marry until s/he is financially solvent. Otherwise, this will be one of the problems in your marriage.
Be sure in your heart that you can live with him/her AS IS. You cannot change another person.
Beware if s/he has no friends. This is a bad sign. It is not true that they all chose to side with the ex.
If your friends dislike him/her, pay attention. This is also true if s/he hates your friends.
If s/he has one personality at work or with others, and another alone with you, run.
If s/he has nothing to do with her/his parents, investigate why. Don’t take his/her word for it.
If s/he’s an expert at everything and brags a lot, understand that s/he will turn off a lot of people, eventually even you.
If s/he has sexual problems, go with her/him to a doctor before you marry. These problems will become your problem.
If s/he is emotionally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling, name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser.
If s/he is never wrong and never apologizes, everything will be “your fault” forever. After years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame.
If s/he does something wrong and says, “That would not have happened if you hadn’t ….”, that’s another sign of an abuser.
If s/he’s mean to children, animals or pets, recognize that s/he’s pathological and the next victim could be you.